40 Canadian dollars.

I stared at this price in pure anguish and misery. The game was received terribly by critics, widely hated by the community, and was an overall disappointment to its awaiting fans. All the value it held was in one game mode that was extremely short-lived and repetitive once you beat it the first time, and yet, time and time again I found myself staring at that price tag with my mouse over the “add to cart” button. Each time I considered it, memories would flash by of my friend and I staying up to grind out the game mode in order to get the higher and higher rounds until we could achieve the easter egg we so dreamed of acquiring. Each time we would fail, and each time we would argue relentlessly about whose fault it was. And yet, each time we would load up another round, eager and willing to work together in a state of euphoria until we accomplished the task.

But we never did.

40 Canadian dollars.

That’s roughly 3 hours of work after the government steals a portion of my paycheck away for taxes. 3 hours of miserable work in order to recount the memories of countless hours of fun. That friend is gone now. We just grew apart. Some part of me stays attached to him still. Perhaps in my memories of late-night sleepovers where we would watch the most terrible movies humankind could make up. Perhaps through those memories of playing outside of our homes as neighbors from across the street. With plenty of memories where short 20 minute games of road hockey would turn into hours of Calvin and Hobbes type games that should never have existed. He moved away, but life goes on. And yet here I am, debating if $40 is a worthy purchase, for something I probably will only play in passing.

A part of me wants to say I’m buying this as some noble cause, to finish what we started all those years ago. I know it won’t be the same though, playing games by yourself is never as fun as with someone else. I want to say that I’m doing this for the sake of our friendship; but I know that can’t be true because we haven’t talked in around 3 years now, despite knowing exactly where the other lives. I don’t know what I expected, that we would be friends forever or some other corny garbage. I’ve accepted that we just grew apart in our own separate ways, I know that life goes on and that friendship is temporary and all that jazz. But for $40 potentially I can go back to that feeling of youth and dependence on another friend. For $40 perhaps I can relive those memories I cherish whenever times get dull. All for the price of $40, which, as a quick aside, is a complete scam, the game sucks and came out like 5 years ago.

40 Canadian dollars. 40 dollars for something I could easily forget. 40 dollars for someone I feel urged to remember. 40 dollars is a lot of money. But 40 dollars is what I have. My friendship is what I don’t.

The capitalist in me is ashamed at spending money for the sake of emotions, but I hope these emotions will pay themselves off. Sometimes I miss you buddy. Sometimes.

 

PS. Now that you’ve read the whole thing and it doesn’t matter, I actually only paid $15 for the game. While this is still a scam as I only want it for that one-game mode, it’s considerably better than $40. Forty dollars is used in this piece purely to make myself seem nobler than I actually am. SUCK IT STEAM!